Diving Into the Deep

03.02.19

My sweet Isabella Faith was born on April 9, 2016. Her name means “devoted or pledged to God”. Before she was born it was prophesied that her birth would be the announcement of the next great awakening. Wouldn’t you know, that the day she was born was the day of Azusa Now, a prayer movement that many the likes of Todd White and Lou Engle consider to be a day that shifted our entire nation onto a course for Revival. It was the 110th anniversary of the Azusa Street Revival!

About a week ago, she woke up bright and early in the morning. Instead of her usual babble about wanting to go downstairs to play, she kept repeating this phrase, “I go up the mountain, I go up the mountain and hide. I’m safe there.” She was fixated on it, and I was clueless as to what she was talking about. At first, I thought maybe she was trying to tell me about a dream she had during the night. Up until this point, I had never heard her talk about a mountain before. And seeing how we live in northeastern Ohio, I didn’t even know that she knew what a mountain was. I shrugged it off and went about my day, but for some reason those words kept resonating in my spirit.

Fast forward to Sunday morning... After service, I picked my girls up from the nursery, as usual. Bella immediately begged me to let her play on the jungle gym in the next room over. As she began to play, I noticed some ladies in the corner of the room praying. I knelt beside her and said, “Do you see those women? They’re praying! We need to be respectful and quiet while they pray.” Bella looked at me, and as plain as day said, “Oh, they’re on the mountain!” She then continued climbing and playing as if it was something everyone should easily understand. What she had said days before ran through my head again. This couldn’t be a coincidence.

Every night, when Bella goes to sleep we pray a prayer. It’s the prayer that her daddy declared every night as a little boy. We say, “Thank you Jesus for a good night sleep, for living in my heart and my clean, clean feet. For calling me to be a mighty woman of God, as a prophet to the Nations. Speak to me Lord in visions and dreams, use me for your glory and I’ll tell your story...” For as long as she’s been alive, we’ve prayed that she would encounter God, even in her sleep. Now that she is able to verbalize what she is seeing, this moment was a small glimpse into God’s faithfulness to answer prayers for our children.

Bella has been battling fear in a big way over the past year. She hasn’t wanted to sleep in her room alone. For months, it’s been a vicious cycle. We have prayed, we’ve fasted, and shut down every possible door to the enemy in her life. We’ve desperately tried to teach her that she is never alone and that there’s nothing to fear when God is with her. The night she had the dream about the mountain, I remember decreeing Psalm 91 over her as a last stitch effort. The first verse says, “When you sit enthroned under the shadow of Shaddai, you are hidden in the strength of God Most High (TPT).” The Hebrew Word for “ Most High God” is “‘elyown ‘elyown” and it means highest of high or an untouchably, high place. Needless to say, that was one of the first nights in a long time that she slept through the night without waking up, screaming and crying. God in His sovereignty was able to show my baby girl that she is safely hidden in Him, in a way that she could comprehend and it meant more to her than our words ever could have.

I believe what Bella has been dealing with is a prophetic picture of the church. Many of us have been so paralyzed by the fear of the unknown, that it has kept us from doing the very things that will lead to revival and refreshing in our lives. The enemy wants to keep us worn out and restless, so that we will never settle into the place of hearing and encountering God. God longs to give you dreams and visions, just like He did for Bella. In the darkest nights and in the face of your greatest fears, He yearns to reveal a special place of safety and security found in Him alone. Isaiah 2:2 (NIV) says, “In the last days the mountain of the Lord’s temple will be established as the highest of the mountains; it will be exalted above the hills, and all nations will stream to it.” We must establish God high above all else in our lives. Whatever we exalt is what will reign over us. Do not focus on the fear, focus on God's love and it will drown out everything else (1 John 4:18).

Around the same time that all of this was happening with Bella, I saw a vision of myself standing on a mountain side. The wind was blowing through my hair and I was completely carefree. I could sense the refreshing presence of God and I was at such peace while taking in the beauty of the view. With almost no warning I fearlessly dove head first into an ocean of water below the mountain. Like a torpedo, I hit the water propelling me to greater depths then I ever imagined going in my own strength. After rushing deep into the water, I began to worry about not being able to hold my breath. I could feel the pressure building in my lungs. It left me with a stinging sensation. It was a struggle, and I thought surely I would drown. There was a battle between fear and curiosity going on inside of me, but the desire to press onward into the deep began to outweigh my fear of drowning. Suddenly, My body separated from my spirit. The need to breath left me completely. It’s like I left behind the part of me that didn’t have the capacity to survive in this new environment. Instead of resisting the water, I took it in and I was restored. The water was my life source now and it awakened me to the beauty of an entirely new realm.

Later in the day I had forgotten the vision. I was overwhelmed by all my responsibilities and I cried out, “Lord, I feel like I’m drowning.” He quickly replied, “You are... You’re drowning in my grace.” I heard him loud and clear, but had to ask a burning question, “Then why do I feel like I’m going to suffocate if I keep going like this?” He simply continued, “I’m suffocating the selfishness in you. The only thing that dies in living water is the old man, because it needs the air of pride to keep existing.”

“You were taught to leave your old self. This means that you must stop living the evil way you lived before. That old self gets worse and worse, because people are fooled by the evil they want to do. You must be made new in your hearts and in your thinking. Be that new person who was made to be like God, truly good and pleasing to him.” Ephesians 4:22-24 (ERV)

Luke 17:33 (NIV) says, “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.” The word for lose in the Greek is “apollymi” which means to perish, to be lost, to destroy, to be put to death. If you cling to your flesh in fear, you’ll die with it, but if you let go, your spirit will be freed to experience the greatest form of life— Life submerged in His presence.

I believe the carefree, and joyful experience on the mountain top is symbolic of our mountain top encounters with God. It is after realizing His protective, loving nature that we find the faith and boldness to trust him in the greatest depths of our soul. “God, you’re such a safe and powerful place to find refuge! You’re a proven help in time of trouble— more than enough and always available whenever I need you. So we will never fear even if every structure of support were to crumble away. We will not fear even when the earth quakes and shakes, moving mountains and casting them into the sea. For the raging roar of stormy winds and crashing waves cannot erode our faith in you. Pause in his presence” Psalms 46:1-3 (TPT). These our the experiences in our lives that cause us to be unable to doubt that God is real.

The dive was symbolic of diving into the Kingdom of God. There’s a transformation that happens when we realize that we were meant to be “in the world, but not of it.” Things that we once thought of as a necessary means of survival, like our limited earthly lung capacity, become the things we must shed in order to adapt to this new Kingdom mentality. We have to come to a point of strength in Christ where the building up of pressure doesn't cause us to back down. The only way to receive the depth of God, it to dig deep within, wade through our limited perspectives based on the pain of our past, our sins, our shame, our frustrations and brokenness. When you come to the end of yourself, you’ll find God’s love and grace go deeper than all of it.

“There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!” Romans 8:39 (TPT)

This image of diving into the deep reminds me of water baptism. When we are submerged, it’s symbolic of being completely changed by living water. It is actually the grace of God that suffocates our sinful selfishness in this process, so that we will not have to experience His wrath. Romans 2:8 (TPT) says, “But those governed by selfishness and self-promotion, whose hearts are unresponsive to God’s truth and would rather embrace unrighteousness, will experience the fullness of wrath.” Selfishness hardens us, keeping us from being responsive to the Holy Spirit in our lives. The moment we separate ourselves from these unholy ambitions, is the moment we gain access to the greatest reward that Heaven has to offer. God is calling His church to the Mountain top, because the higher you go in Him, the greater momentum you'll have to dive deeper into His grace.

“Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.” John 3:5 (NIV)

“And I pray that he would unveil within you the unlimited riches of his glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with his divine might and explosive power. Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of his love will become the very source and root of your life. Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is his love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God! Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.” Ephesians 3:16-20 (TPT)